It Isn't Supposed to Feel Like This
by jaree09
Summary: "That kiss, makes her put her walls up, but makes his walls came tumbling down". They both had expectations of what that first kiss was going to feel like. They were both prepared for it. And they were both wrong. Because that kiss surprised them both. That kiss made them have opposite reactions. Her walls went up, and his came down.
**_Authors notes. Please read before your read the story_**

I think Killian is a romantic, and when he falls in love, he falls fast and he falls hard.

I started to try and figure out, at what point did he fall head over hills with her. I think after that trip up the bean stock he was in serious _like_ with her. And even as his villain self whatever he did to her, she did back and better. That had to impress him. Then he watched her trying to save the town, and he discussed being all alone when his revenge is done. And she told him, "We think the same way," then told him to join them. After that conversation, he sailed off, and what we don't see…he said goodbye to Milah and stopped his centuries long revenge mission. That's major! After that, Emma is his priority. He returns to help. He immediately offers to take her to Neverland, a place he spent centuries trying to escape. He'd have to be just nuts about her to do that. And every second they spend together in Neverland, he falls a tiny bit more and more.

And that kiss, I think it affected him more than it did her. It had opposite effects on them. Her walls went up, while his came down.

***...***...***...***

It Isn't Supposed to Feel Like This

 _It isn't supposed to feel like this._

 _It isn't supposed to knock her on her ass. It isn't supposed to have her heart beating so loud in her ears, she can't hear anything else. She isn't supposed to need it like oxygen. Like her next breath. It isn't supposed to make them melt into each other like they are one being. It shouldn't shoot electric shocks down her body, to the tips of her toes and back again, and then settle warm on her heart. It is not supposed to make her think about things like happy endings, and true love's kiss._

 _It wasn't supposed to be like this._

 _It was_ _ **supposed**_ _to be light and funny, and a bit of a…distraction. He didn't think she'd do it in a million years, and she wanted to knock that smug look right off his face. Just to shut him up._

 _She liked him. She did. He was crazy sexy, and their sexual chemistry was off the charts. And he was really into her. He was, changing, evolving, and right before her eyes. He saved David. He was putting his life on the line. For her. Yeah, they were looking for her son, but he was here for her. She got that. And that was sexy as hell._

 _So she kissed him._

 _Maybe because…she knew this 'thing between them' was going nowhere. He was a pirate, a villain. After this trip, she would never see him again. Maybe that made it seem safe._

 _That is how it was supposed to be._

 _But this kiss. It is so unexpected. It jolts her._

 **It isn't supposed to feel like this.**

 **It isn't supposed to knock him off his center. It isn't supposed to make him weak-kneed, befuddled, and hazy. The taste of her, the intense passion, shouldn't shatter his soul. His heart isn't supposed to worship her. It tastes like some sort of magic. Like sweet nectar from the Gods. It feels like coming home. Like harmonious waves on the port side, the most natural thing in the world.**

 **It isn't supposed to change his life.**

 **Gods he feels lost. Lost and found.**

 **Bloody hell, he was already half crazy about her. And know…Gods he is falling in love with her. How can that be? He spent hundreds of years loving only one woman. And now, during this kiss, he has an epiphany. Nothing will ever be the same. Not for him.**

 **It was disconcerting how quickly she got under his skin. It escalated rapidly, from quietly admiring her, to not being able to look away.**

 **It wasn't supposed to be like this.**

 **It was** ** _supposed_** **to be him finagling her. Getting the upper hand, and winning this bout in their little game. He'd had been teasing, flirting, and antagonizing her. He never knew if she was going to walk away, or with her dry wit, knock one right back at him. This time he'd actually gotten a smile, a rare treasure indeed. She stunned him when she pulled him close. So he was going to show her just how a pirate kissed. He was going to make her so sizzling blistering hot for him that she burned. He was going to make her ache for him for weeks.**

 **That had been his scheming plot.**

 **But this kiss.**

 **She feels it too. He sees it the** ** _second_** **they pull apart. Their eyes, wide with shock…lock.**

 **And he knows it.**

 **They are** ** _meant_** **for each other. He knows it like he knows his own name.**

 **And she knows it too.**

 **He saw it… for one split second…**

 **She** ** _knows_** **it too.**

 **He staggers.**

 **That kiss. He is ready to pull her in, keep her safe forever, and never let her go. Having a partner and lover again? He never even dreamed it would be possible. He has been so lonely for so long. And now after that damn kiss, all he wants is her.**

 _Jesus fucking Christ! She can't catch her breath. She pushes him away, because it's too much. It's too emotional, too many feelings racing to her heart. She almost chokes on them._

 _That kiss._

 _Shit! Shit! Shit!_

 _It is too much too fast too soon._

 _She is not ever going to fall in love again._

 _Ever!_

 _And it would be_ _ **so**_ _easy to fall for him._ _ **Too**_ _easy._

 _Which is why, she has to get the hell away from him as fast as she can. Instantly she erects cement walls high and thick around her heart. She condemns herself, 'What the hell are you doing? You're not falling for a stupid pirate, Emma. It's not like he's sticking around after this! Don't let him in. Get back to your son.'_

 _And then she gets as far away from him as she can._

 **That kiss, makes her put her walls up, but makes his walls came tumbling down.**

 **As he watches her walk away from him, he realizes…**

 **He is in love with her.**

 **And that completely wrecks him.**

 **He'll wait.**

 **She doesn't trust him. That he understands, and he'll do everything in his power to change that. If it takes a lifetime, he'll show her he is a man of honor.**

 **Because the next time they kiss, he wants her on the same page. He wants her half out of her mind in love with him. Next time…she won't flee.**

 **He'll wait.**

 **She is going to break his heart a thousand times.**

 **But the dance of Emma Swan falling in love with him will be worth it.**

 *****…***…*****

 *****…***…*****

Love to hear your thoughts. I am curious as to what others fans think when it happened.


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